


The Mathematical Chances of This Happening Are Statistically Insignificant

by Slipperyguts



Category: Borderlands
Genre: Anal Sex, Anonymous Sex, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Glory Hole, M/M, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 15:09:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5830240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slipperyguts/pseuds/Slipperyguts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys stumbles upon a glory hole and makes good use of it with the help of Handsome stranger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mathematical Chances of This Happening Are Statistically Insignificant

**Author's Note:**

> This was ridiculously fun to write you guys have like NO idea.

Ever since Rhys had been in college, he’d heard whispers and murmurs of ‘glory holes’ among his peers. He’d heard various locations of them, stories of their use, and even a rumor that the Hyperion CEO, Handsome Jack, had definitely used one before. The Handsome Jack rumor was  _ definitely _ his jerk-off material for about a month after he’d heard it, thinking about himself, on his knees, sucking off Handsome Jack without the man ever knowing who he was. The little daydream had probably been the hottest thing he’d thought of in a long time, and it stuck with him for a long while.

 

But after college, Rhys had forgotten all about those rumors. He dove headfirst into a career at Hyperion, the stress and huge workload he had giving him little to no time to daydream and get off whenever he wanted. Adulthood, what a goddamn pity. But either way, the daydream was long forgotten, but not so much the admiration for (and crush) on Jack. 

 

Until one day Rhys found himself standing in the stall of a bathroom, staring down at a hole in the wall of the stall, lined with black duct tape (Was it for padding? He supposed so). It was… Enticing, to say the least. Suddenly, all of his college fantasies came flooding back and he felt his face heat up, accompanied by his cock twitching in his pants. He mentally berated himself for it, but then ended up kneeling on the filthy floor and inspecting the hole in the wall. It’s not like he could see too well, but by the looks of it, no one was in there. 

 

Well,  _ was _ , that was the key word. The door slammed and Rhys backed away from the hole as quickly as he could, hiding in the corner of the stall. He didn’t need anyone he knew catching him inspecting a  _ glory hole _ . As he waited for the stranger to leave, trying to breathe as shallowly as possible, there was a hard knock on the wall separating the stalls that startled him. Rhys didn’t dare answer out, hoping that the mystery person would give up and leave. “Look, I know someone’s in there. If you’re too shy to do anything… Then you are  _ definitely  _ in the wrong place, aren’t ya, Princess?” The mystery man asked while laughing. His tone was mocking, Rhys didn’t like it.

 

How did he know? Rhys leaned in slightly to peer through the hole without a chance of being seen. Whoever it was, they obviously had no sense of style. That top was the most hideous shade of orange he’d ever had to endure with his own two eyes. The voice was… Familiar. He couldn’t exactly put his finger on it, but he definitely knew that voice from somewhere. God, that shouldn’t have excited him as much as it did. Wow depraved could he be? 

 

The only other clue on who the man was was a tattooed wrist that he  _ knew  _ he’d seen before, but he couldn’t remember why or where. He decided to ignore it and speak up finally. “I…” Wow, was that all he could say? That was pretty pathetic, even Rhys had to admit that. 

 

But the man on the other side didn’t seem to mind. “There it is!” And suddenly, there was the sounds of fabric shuffling and a zipper unzipping. A moment later, a fairly thick cock was poking through the hole in the stall. 

 

Okay, well, the guy seemed to not want to waste any time. Efficiency, Rhys liked that in a man. Rhys moved forward on his knee, taking a moment to note how disgusting that was, and pressed his lips to the tip. But as soon as he got his lips around the mystery cock, the stranger was pulling away. Seriously? 

 

“Ah, ah, forgot something.” And suddenly there was a small bottle of lube being pushed through the hole, falling right onto his lap.

 

“E...xcuse me?” Rhys asked reluctantly, grabbing the bottle and inspecting it. It looked brand new, the seal unbroken, which was a relief. But still, Rhys knew better than to just… Sleep with strangers. 

 

But then the man on the other side spoke again and Rhys found he really, _ really, _ liked that voice. “Are you stupid? You’re gonna finger yourself while you suck me off and then, y’know, I’m gonna fuck you. I thought that was pretty straightforward.” 

 

Well, okay, Rhys could work with that. If anything, he could pretend it was the object of his ill-placed affections, Handsome Jack. “Yeah- Yeah that’s… Okay.” Once the stranger’s cock was in his face again, Rhys worked on tugging his pants and briefs about mid-thigh, then wrapped his lips around the tip of the man’s cock again. He’d blown a guy once before in his life, and he hoped to god that he wouldn’t disappoint the stranger, even if there were no repercussions to doing a sloppy, bang-up, job.  

 

As he worked the thick cock in his mouth, he spread the lube over his fingers and pushed his middle finger inside of himself slowly. Now, that was something he’d done before, many times in fact. Soon, he was twisting two fingers inside his now thoroughly wetted hole, groaning with the stranger’s cock in his throat. It had been strangely silent, save for Rhys’ sloppy noises, but Rhys didn’t exactly care anymore, he just hoped he was doing a good job regardless.

 

But then the stranger finally spoke up, it made Rhys’ heart pound. “Jesus, got quite the mouth on you, huh? You’re so into it, it’s kinda pathetic! What, you don’t want anyone knowing how much of a slut you are so you come here?” The stranger went on and on, humiliating Rhys for being on his knees like a common whore, sucking dick. Rhys made a loud, pleased noise in response, making the man snort and laugh in return. “That was _ cute.  _ I bet you’re cute, probably look real innocent too, totally unsuspecting.” Well, he wasn’t wrong there. “C’mon, take it deeper.” He urged. 

 

Rhys relaxed his throat as much as he could and took him in a few more inches, flattening his tongue as best as possible. He felt the urge to gag, but found he was rather…  _ Fond _ of the feeling. Wasn’t the day just  _ full  _ of self discovery? But soon enough, Rhys had three fingers inside of himself, more than stretched enough. He pulled back off of the man’s cock and took in a deep breath before talking. “I’m ready.” He croaked out.

 

“ _ Wow,  _ that was pretty damn fast, Kiddo.” Kiddo…? “Now, bend over and press up against the wall.”  Reluctantly, Rhys did so. He backed up against the wall with his legs spread, one hand braced on the opposite wall to keep steady. Reaching back with his free hand, he spread himself a little wider. The move made the stranger groan deep. “ _ Jesus _ kid, that’s fucking  _ pink _ . Do you fucking... What? Wax, bleach? There’s no way that’s _ au naturel.”  _ Rhys had to hold back a laugh, but he also felt his face grow warmer. At least he looked impressive. 

 

Suddenly, Rhys gasped as he felt the thick head of the man’s cock press against his hole and stretch him open more. “Fuck…” He muttered under his breath, now using both hands to steady himself. It was absolutely filthy, the way the man swore and groaned as he pushed into Rhys, fitting as much of his cock in as possible. It only encouraged Rhys to push his hips back more, mouth hanging open and allowing all the noises he made to spill out.    
  
“Choke yourself.” The man commanded breathlessly, already picking up the pace on fucking Rhys. Did the guy just ask him to choke himself? God, he was definitely a wet dream come true. “I know I can’t exactly see you, but I have it in good faith you’ll be a good boy and choke yourself while I fuck you, since I can’t do it myself.”

 

The guy had him wrapped around his finger, that was more than apparent when Rhys brought his cybernetic hand to his throat and squeezed tight, just underneath his jaw. His breath hitched and stopped, unable to actually draw in a decent breath. He hoped the noise was loud enough for his mystery man to hear, wanting the praise that came with obeying. 

 

“That’s it, good boy!” The voice laughed breathily, fucking into him harder. Between being filled and the restricted air supply, Rhys could feel his cock ache, twitch, and leak. He only wished he’d had a free hand to help himself out. Instead, he had to rely on the stranger fucking him, and the hand wrapped tight around his throat, to get him off. He made a feeble attempt at sucking in a breath, only to have it sound more like a death rattle. Feeble attempt indeed. “God that’s hot… Shame I can’t see you, bet you probably look like half a friggin’ wreck.” 

 

Every time the guy opened his mouth, it just spurred Rhys on further. Grip tightening around his throat and hips attempting to move in time with the man’s thrusts, but it was a sloppy job. Oh well, he wasn’t expecting the best sex of his life in a public bathroom with a stranger. In fact, he hadn’t expected  _ any _ sex. Either way, Rhys had to admit that the guy was good, even with a wall in the way. Rhys tilted his hips up and back a bit more, the angle making the man hit Rhys’ prostate, drawing out a loud choked off gasp. Maybe he could cum like that after all.

 

“Ohohoh, did I hit something, Pumpkin?” The stranger teased, making sure to give another hard thrust as best he could. Rhys was having a hard time holding himself up and his vision was blurred around the edges a little. After a moment of trying to process  _ why _ his vision was blurry, he peeled his hand off of his throat and sucked in a deep breath. It made his lungs burn, but it was so, so, good. “Oh, that is  _ hot _ , you choking yourself for that long. Real goddamn obedient, aren’t you? Bet you have a corporate job…” The man rambled on.

 

As soon as Rhys caught his breath again, his hand was tight around his own throat once more, squeezing hard. With the sharp steel of his cybernetics pressed so tight against his jugular, it was definitely going to leave a bruise around his throat. ‘Never too late to take up fashion scarves.’ Rhys figured. His vision started to go fuzzy again, his head spinning, but he only squeezed tighter and pressed back more greedily.

 

After a few more well-angled thrusts, Rhys was cumming on the bathroom tile in splatters, a drop also landing on his boot in the process. The muscles in his abdomen tensed and relaxed, his breath hitching in a gasp as he came. It turned into shuddering, moaning, exhales rather quickly. The hand around his throat relented again, slowly peeling off and allowing him some much needed air. But there was no time to recuperate and take a breather, because the stranger was pounding into him still, a low panting coming from the other stall. 

 

The force of one of the thrusts against his prostate  _ almost _ made Rhys lose his balance from surprise, but it did make him let out a loud yelp. “Hah! That was cute…” The Stranger’s voice was deeper, breathier now. Rhys held back his whimpers and whines from then on, waiting for the man to finish inside of him. He felt overstimulated, overheated, used up, and from the feel of it, he’d been drooling all over himself. 

 

After a few more thrusts, the stranger came inside of him. Rhys could hear the man breathing hard and grunting, swearing under his breath. It was a total power trip knowing he was the cause of those noises. A few seconds later, the man pulled out, making Rhys groan. Well, he could cross  _ that _ off his list. Had semi-public, bareback, sex with a stranger he couldn’t even see. He was definitely not raised to be like that. 

 

“Well, thanks for that,  _ Cupcake _ .” The man said. From his tone, Rhys could tell he was smiling. 

 

What was he supposed to say? What do you say to a guy you just blew and got fucked by in a public restroom? “You’re… Welcome?” Nailed it.

 

But, what threw Rhys off the most was the response he got. “Same time, next week.” That wasn’t a question, that was a demand. That was dangerous, right? 

 

Rhys stood there, confusion all over his face, despite the strange being unable to see him. Was the guy serious? There was no way he was being serious. But Rhys found himself obliging anyways. “...Yeah... Yeah. Same time, next week.” He nodded to himself, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. 

 

“Good, you leave first.” That was the end of the exchange, apparently. 

 

Quietly, Rhys left the stall and walked out of the bathrooms, thinking about the encounter. Had that just happened? He just got fucked in a public restroom and, to top that, he’d agreed to do it again. Same time, next week… He quickly made an appointment reminder, squeezing it between two appointments, as discreetly as possible. Though, he doubted that was the type of thing he could actually forget.

 

As he walked down the hall swiftly, highly aware of the cum dripping out of him, Rhys stopped to look up at the huge Handsome Jack poster plastered on the wall. He smiled warmly, a dreamy look on his face. As he looked at the poster, he noted the bright orange sweater Jack wore and felt his heart pick up it’s pace. Then, he noticed the wrist tattoo. He felt like he was going to faint, face burning up. He just got fucked by Handsome Jack in a public bathroom. A stupid smile spread over his lips, and he noticed Jack walking from the bathrooms, fixing his coat. 

 

Eyes widening, Rhys turned on his heel and began walking. As he walked away, ready to pretend like he hadn’t just had semi-public sex with the CEO _and_ promised to do it  _ again _ , he realized something. 

 

He’d totally forgotten to take a piss like he’d originally intended.


End file.
